The Art of Amanda | The Art of Her Project

If you are a business owner in Tucson you have likely met Amanda Pederson, the Wisconsin-turned-Tucson powerhouse. Something I love about Amanda is her no-nonsense conversations, her way of connecting with you so you feel like you too can be yourself. She shows up authentically and you get all of her and the incredible thing is she lets you do the same, without even saying so. She also has a great sense of humor that makes interactions with her so much more fun. Her interview is similar. No frills, just real talk about self-discovery, kicking imposter syndrome in the face, and finding your groove in this life.

So, grab a coffee or your drink of choice, and let's dive into Amanda's world – where humor truly meets wisdom, and authenticity is the name of the game.

This is the Art of Amanda.

This is the Art of Her.

Interview with Amanda Pederson

Jessica: Tell us about you, The woman.

Amanda: My name is Amanda Pederson. Born and raised in Wisconsin, I've lived in Tucson since 2016. These days I'm a licensed aesthetician, though it's a second (third?) career for me. I spent a long time never being quite sure where I was supposed to be, not fitting in, just generally being a square peg in a round hole. But I think I've finally settled on what I want to do when I grow up, and that's help people feel at peace with their bodies and beautiful in their skin. As a person, I'm still figuring out who I am. I know that's a continual process for everyone, but I feel rather early in the process for someone who's approaching 40. Debilitating migraines have gone from 25 to 5 per month, so I'm feeling a lot better in that regard.

Jessica: Tells us about Your Story.

Amanda: I've wrestled with this question since I signed up for this project. I have a story, everyone does, but I've struggled with how to approach it because I felt I was lacking an event that would seem significant or unique to other people. So as I'm writing this, I'm trying to get out of my own way, and maybe this story will help someone else do the same.

I mentioned that I never really felt like I fit in anywhere. Growing up I was both the smart kid and the fat kid, so I really didn't have any friends. I was not a well-understood adolescent, even in the context of how little-understood the average teenager is. Not weird enough to hang with the weird kids, but just offbeat enough to stick out from the "normies". (Spoiler: I wasn't getting the mental health treatment I needed at the time, and I wouldn't for another 20 years).

I was just me, soloing life. Even into my thirties and after I got married I called myself "the ride-or-die bitch that nobody wants" with regard to friendships. It seemed everywhere I turned, people were already partnered, already had their best friend, already found their tribe, and there just wasn't room for me. This really informed how I navigated the world, and when it came to starting a business so many years later, I thought I could do it all myself. I would offer a service, people would show up and pay for it. They didn't need to know me personally (because I was pretty sure they wouldn't want to). In hindsight, this was completely ridiculous. But that was how I operated for so long.

Fast forward to being newly pregnant and my emotional stability and regulation was near zero. One usually expects emotional changes, but it rocked me. The precarious, high-functioning two step I was doing was no longer possible. It was debilitating and endangering my job and my marriage. Enter: psych meds. I didn't want to. But I had tried everything else and I couldn't keep going how I was, especially with months of pregnancy still ahead of me and then the impending doom (not really) of post-partum and new parenting. I left the doctor's office, filled the prescription, took the first pill and never looked back. I was a different person (in a good way) in a matter of days. I wish had done it sooner. 5 years later, I'm still taking them. I may always be, and that's fine. It's potentially life-saving medication that should come with zero shame and judgement. The work I do now is a direct result of that experience. There is absolutely no chance I could have started a business in "the before times".

Since I started the spa, I've met so many incredible people that appear to value me as a human. Weird! It's still a daily struggle, because my negative self-perception has been around a lot longer than any evidence to the contrary. Maybe the difference is the majority of the people I surround myself with now are people who didn't know me before I got the mental health treatment I needed. Some of the challenge is that those that do remember how I was before have the perception of me that those events formed, where I feel I'm a very different person now. If you're a Millennial, the line "I'm not Josie Gross-ie anymore!" may resonate.

Jessica: Tell me about a specific experience as it surrounds your story of what you had to endure or work through as you pushed to rise? 

Amanda: Have I risen yet? It doesn't exactly feel like it, but imposter syndrome is real and anxiety lies. 18 months ago I was working full time at my corporate day job, launching the spa with one employee, going to esthetician school at night, and parenting a toddler. Peoples' eyes bug when I tell them that, but at the time it didn't feel as obnoxious as it sounds now when I say it out loud. I just did it. I wanted to plow through while my son was still really young and wouldn't remember how much I was gone or not fully present.

Jessica: What surprised you about yourself?

Amanda: That I could actually follow through on something that wasn't giving me instant gratification. I'm a master dabbler; I've got a million hobbies, I get bored easily, and I abandon ideas frequently when the novelty wears off. I felt like I never finished anything I started. But I came home one day and wrote on a whiteboard "Goal: open my own spa, be self-employed and do what I want to do on my own terms." Below that, I listed the steps I had researched to make it happen: registering the LLC, getting the licenses, tax stuff, finding space to operate, products and equipment. One by one, I checked everything off the list. I decided on something I wanted to accomplish and I did it. That was huge for me.

Jessica: What surprised you about others as it is connected to your event?

Amanda: Liking people! Realizing good people exist and everyone didn't suck. It sounds ridiculous, but I had logged long, trying years in retail, customer service, and technical support. Those sorts of jobs wear a person down. I would never have called myself a people person, and neither would anyone who knew me or worked with me back then. I was miserable. But this is different. I'm not doing the bidding of someone else, it's mine. And I really only deal with people who want to see me and are happy to be there. That was a huge shift and a big eye opener for me.

 Jessica: What would you say you learned about yourself or others during or since this event?

Amanda: I can do anything. I've switched careers, I've started something from nothing, I've dispensed with what doesn't serve me. If I wanted to play starting center for the Milwaukee Bucks, obviously there would be some obstacles, but otherwise? Whatever. I've got this. In that sense, I am my own ride-or-die bitch.

Jessica: How would you describe the difference in you?

Amanda: I'm still me, just a better version. More functional. It wasn't the dramatic personality change I was afraid psych meds would be. I'm not for everyone. I wasn't before, and I'm not after. That's ok. A friend once told me "there are 7 billion people on the planet, some of them are bound to like me". Before, I was not good at the warm fuzzies. I'm still not. I'm not the friend that's going to cry with you, I'm the one who will show up and clean your house while your life is falling about.

Jessica: Have your values changed since the event? What do you value now?

Amanda: I've doubled down on kindness and empathy. Unless I'm driving. Use your turn signals, people.

Jessica: What is the one piece of advice would you give your younger self?

Amanda: Get the mental health help you need now. Push for it. You don't just have an attitude problem (ok, maybe a little), you aren't just a bitch, something is wrong. So many things could be different if you don't wait. But, in the same breath...you are enough. You've always been enough, and you always will be.

Jessica: What would you say has helped you along your healing journey?

Amanda: Zoloft. No, really. And tattoos. I had always wanted one (or several) but I was waiting for a body worth putting them on. Once I dispensed with that nonsense, I felt like I really owned myself.

Jessica: What is your story of now?

Amanda: I'm alive and there are people who like me! That's a bigger thing than it sounds like.

Jessica: It would be really interesting to hear about any ambitions you have for the future.

Amanda: I go back and forth. Sometimes I want a big fancy spa with a Himalayan salt room and a napping lounge and the bells and whistles, and some days I don't want to deal with any more employees than the one I've got. Sometimes I think about being one of those "goes to medical school late in life" people. I think I'd go if it were free. Other days, I think about my prospects as a trophy wife. I imagine I will land somewhere in between, like most of us do.

Jessica: Are there any myths you would like to bust about growing up as a female?

Amanda: I think the myth is that there's a singular female experience. What's true for one person won't be for another, so in that way, everything is both truth and myth.

Jessica: What do you wish other women or young girls knew about themselves?

Amanda: There's no wrong way to exist as a woman in this world. There's no wrong way to have a body. There's no wrong way to take up space, or have opinions, or interact with society...unless you're holding other people down. Don't do that. The world doesn't need that shit.

Jessica: If you could talk to advertisers right now about advertising to women, what advice would you give them?

Amanda: Stop assuming there's one way to be a woman and we all care about the same things. If you're still trying to advertise to either men or women, adjust to the fact that more than two genders exist.

Creative Credits:

Photography by Jessica Korff Studios

Makeup by: Renee Lanz | Radiate with ReneeJ

Dress Draping: Dresses draped and created by: Jessica Korff