The Art of Celia | The Art of Her Project

Celia Webb's story stands as a testament to the strength, overcoming, and capability that lies within every woman. Born in Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico, Celia's journey is one of overcoming profound loss, adapting to new roles, and ultimately crafting a life of empowerment. From a young bride facing widowhood and raising two children alone to becoming a black belt in Krav Maga, a licensed home inspector, and a thriving entrepreneur, Celia challenges stereotypes and breaks down the barriers that limit the potential of women. Her story is an inspiring reminder that every woman has the power to shape her destiny, regardless of societal expectations and events that shatter our worlds. As we delve into the intricacies of Celia's interview we unravel a narrative that celebrates the indomitable spirit of a woman who, in the face of adversity, emerged not only unbroken but stronger, wiser, and truly self-assured.

This is the Art of Celia.

This is the Art of Her.

Interview with Celia Webb

Jessica: Tell us about you, The woman.

Celia: My name is Celia Webb. I was born and raised in Leon, Guanajuato, Mexico. I am the oldest of 4. Two girls, then two boys. I got married when I was 18 years old to David, who was 10 years older than me. I met him in college in Mexico. He was from Oregon, but he went down there as an exchange student. I was studying English, French and Japanese, and he was studying Spanish, French, and Japanese. We met and hit it off right away. We were handfast in December of 1998 and we knew we wanted to have babies. We got pregnant soon after and got married JOP in Mexico in June, then we came to live in OR and got married in the church in September of 1999. Our first son was born in December 1999, and our second one in October of 2003. He had applied to the Border Patrol while he was still in college and got accepted in 2004, so we came to live in AZ. I was a stay at home mom, but I couldn't stay still, so I offered translation services, which was fun. Then I took a job as a first grade teacher at my son's Christian school. Unfortunately they closed the school later on, but I was able to homeschool him and a friend of his at my home.

Sadly my husband had a car accident at work and did not survive. I was left with a child who had turned 3 years old two weeks before, and one who was turning 7 a month later. I had turned 26 years old a week earlier, and my happy little life was gone in an instant.

But I grew up with parents who had adversity in their lives and didn't let it stop them, so I knew I couldn't just wallow in self pity. I am thankful for the opportunities that his death gave us, such as worker's comp, and the ability to obtain an education. I did not let that go to waste, so I started college and although I do not use my degree, it helped me learn a lot about people and be more caring to their circumstances. I also started taking self defense classes, because it is a crazy world out there, and not having a protector meant that I was the first line of defense for myself and my kids. So I became a black belt in Krav Maga while I was going to college. Sadly I had a brain injury resulting from a take down on a concrete floor. I lived with it for 4 years not knowing I had the injury. The neurologist put me in what I call "bed rest", because I was training 6 hours a day, 6 days a week, and now I wasn't allowed to do jumping jacks, run, or have any sort of impact. This required me to modify a lot of my teachings, but then I had two more concussions and it got worse. By this time in 2019 I had already met my friend Nick and he said I could do the home inspection education, since I was also investing in Real Estate while doing all this. I know, it's crazy how much I was doing. So I did, and when the pandemic started I closed my self defense business, which was a blessing in disguise, because I needed to stop taking impact all the time. The week after the pandemic started I passed my home inspector national exam and immediately started doing the field training. I got my license at the end of May of 2020, and have been doing home inspections ever since. I still teach self defense privately to groups, but not often at all. Thankfully since I stopped teaching my debilitating migraines have gone from 25 to 5 per month, so I'm feeling a lot better in that regard.

Jessica: Tells us about Your Story.

Celia: We were very much in love when we got married. Being handfast is not something we told the world, only a few people until now. We knew we wanted to be together until death did us part, but I never really thought that would happen so soon. We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary and it had been our best year. We had grown as a couple and really learned to be with each other in our new environment. But it was November 3rd, 2006 and I was online looking for a gift for him when I heard a knock on the door. It was 3 Border Patrol agents and my husband behind them. One of them asked if they could come in. I was trying to figure out if he had forgotten something after leaving for work that late afternoon. But he didn't walk in. Two lady friends came in behind them while I walked backwards to the couch and they scooped the kids up and took them to the bedroom. They had me sit down, and one agent took a knee in front of me as I sat on the couch, and he said, "I am sorry to say that your husband was in an accident. He died." Or something along those lines. I remembered the exact words for years, but now I can't think of them. Anyway, it was the most shocking thing anyone ever said to me. I looked up to see my house, my hallway, as I took it in... and it was empty. My house was not my house. It was a place where I didn't belong... I couldn't see myself there. And he wasn't there... I thought I saw him at the door, but, it had just been my imagination, or my mind filling in a blank of what was supposed to be there. He was never going to walk down that hall, or sit at the table where the leftovers were still cooling down from our dinner earlier on.

They offered to make calls on my behalf, but that was something I had to do myself. The first person I called was my dad. My sister answer and somehow I managed to not give her a hint. She put my dad on. I asked him if he was sitting, he said yes. I told him, "dad, David was in an accident at work." His voice broke, "what happened to him?" I said, "he died". He started crying and said, "please don't tell me that. Tell me it isn't so". And then he said, "We will be right there. But I need to ask you a favor. Do not see him." I said, "I know, dad I won't." I grew up hearing this because he always said, "you will not remember him alive without remembering him dead". And so I asked people to keep me from getting close to his coffin if I ever tried.

But then it was time to tell my kids... And that, THOSE words I will never forget. But I can't share them. It's too much. My oldest was about to turn 7, and when I told him the tears came out of his eyes so fast and copiously, they went down to his neck and there wasn't enough sleeve in his shirt to dry them. Then my youngest... he had just turned 3 two weeks before, and I told him his dad had died and we would never see him again. He raised his eyebrows, and didn't understand, but he could tell something monumentally massive and life changing had happened. But he was too preoccupied playing with the ladies that came to help at the moment. And then I had to call his parents. I was able to talk to his step-father because his mom was gone to work and wasn't home, so he is the one who told his mom. My father in law said he was sorry, he called me baby, but all I could think about was my mother in law, and how her loss was way more significant than mine. Then I called his dad, but only got the answering machine, so I left a message for them to call me. I tried to keep my voice even as to not worry them. I don't recall how we got ahold of his wife's sister, but she's the one who told them. His step-mom called me the next day, as they had gone hunting and had been out of range completely. But by the time she called me they already knew. I am thankful I was not the one to tell his parents. But I'm glad they had someone with them when they found out. My parents live in Mexico, and my dad told my mom when she got home. They packed a small bag and drove through the night. It's a 24 hour drive. They were there the following day, 27 hours later.

Jessica: What surprised you about yourself in the moments surrounding the event?  

Celia: It surprised me how long it took me to realize he was actually gone. It took me about a year to actually start grieving. But then it made sense. Because he had been deployed a few times during our marriage, for up to 9 months, and during that time I visited my family in Mexico, or they visited with me, it felt normal. My dad was already retired so he stayed with me from November until January. My mom and siblings came up during Christmas break. And my brother had already planned on spending a month in January after the rest left. So it wasn't a big difference for a while. But as the months went by and I started to notice there were no letters and no phone calls, it started hitting me. It took me a long time to start feeling it, and that was not something I expected after such a loss.

Jessica: What surprised you about others as it is connected to your event?

Celia: The polar opposites of people showing their true colors surprised me a lot. On one side I had an outpour of people willing to give their time, food, donations, company and a listening ear whenever I needed. I have always been self reliant, so it is difficult for me to ask for help, but when I truly needed it, I got it. And on the other hand I had some spouses asking me not to go near their husbands, or asking me if I was checking out the guys at the Christmas party barely a month after. I had strangers become friends, and friends starting to talk behind my back on how I would raise the kids from then on, how I should or shouldn't take a job, whether I should find someone else or wait... It was both sides of the spectrum in very unexpected ways.

Jessica: What would you say you learned about yourself or others during or since this event?

Celia: I learned that I am very adaptable, and that is not something that comes naturally to everyone. I can't say I'm lucky to have what I have, because those things were put in motion by a plan. I know that I have my family's full support and that they would not have let me down if I needed them. I am thankful my husband set things up so that we wouldn't go without if this was to happen. In March of 2006 we had had another agent die in the line of duty at the same station, and after that I made sure to check that my husband's life insurance was at its max, and we also signed up for another death benefit where we paid $1 each paycheck. He had a will set up from when he was in the Army. I have always been the type of person who likes to prevent bad things from happening, or to set up what's needed in case they do. And I have always had the attitude of "I am going to be ok, no matter what, because I have the power to overcome things." This hurt, a lot. But I had gone through painful things with him that we overcame, and I knew I would overcome this. I had to think of my kids and myself as a team, and it would be the 3 of us against the world. Together we would conquer whatever came our way. It is the philosophy I raised them in, and it worked out. And now, 17 years later, we are still a great team and we face things together. If I can teach them resiliency, I have succeded.

 Jessica: How did this change you?

Celia: I used to be quite dependent and submissive. I stayed at home, took care of the house, did the shopping, while my husband earned a living, went to school, and then got the government job. I felt if a man is a provider, the wife should be the caretaker. It worked for us, but I also always itched to have more for myself, to be seen as a person, rather than an extension of him, or the person in the background. After he died, I realized how necessary it is for women to have their own sustenance, their own income, their own savings. I am thankful that because of the government job he had, and for having died in the line of duty, I am taken care of for life. I don't have to work for a living. I consider myself blessed in that respect, and feel deeply for those who go through this without that help, because it has to be 100% more difficult to have to leave your kids in order to provide for them, on top of the grief of losing your partner. But I still decided to go to college, and work. I got a business, then I started investing in real estate, got some rentals for passive income, and now I'm into home inspections. I also wanted to make sure I wouldn't have the same type of accident, so I attended a school of high performance driving, and learned a lot of skills that have actually saved my life at least twice. I learned Krav Maga so I would survive if I was physically attacked, and I became an NRA instructor. I did two years of knife fighting as well. I became as self reliant as I possibly could. I stay as health as I can, I got life insurance, disability insurance, I paid off my rental and I'm about to pay off my home. I do not ever want to be dependent on anyone again. And that has made me not be submissive anymore. In a way I was hardened, but I know that whatever life throws my way, I will be ok, because I set everything to work this way. As long as God allows my children to survive me, and they are physically, and emotionally safe, I'm all set. I think I tried to avoid life's blows, but we know life continues to beat us no matter what. Being prepared definitely softens the blow, though.

Jessica: What is the one piece of advice you would give your younger self?

Celia: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder sooner rather than later. It is amazing to me how I became aware of this problem so much later than I should have. Look at people's actions, not their words.

Jessica: What would you say has helped you along your healing journey?

Celia: Definitely my family's support. And a few good friends from the Border Patrol who have kept in touch, the support programs from Concerns of Police Survivors, and current Law Enforcement SO groups. They have been there for me any time I need them. I am so blessed to have them. They have always treated me like one of their own family and heard me vent at any time, for any reason. Even after all these years I can count on them. I won't say names, but I hope they know who they are. If they don't, I'll make sure to tell them!

Jessica: What is your story of now?

Celia: I feel like I have come a long ways from the homey, submissive girl I was before. I became a woman my kids look up to, and I've been told others do too. I however feel I went too far the self-reliant way and I have been called intimidating by some men. I celebrate who I am by treating myself to the things I want. When I was married, I didn't make much money, so I never felt it was fair to treat myself. For my birthday gift I chose pots and pans, and a vacuum cleaner. But I have made my own career, I have overcome a lot of grief and sadness and didn't let it stop me. So now if I want to buy myself flowers, I'll do it! Way before the song came out, I have been buying myself flowers once a month for a few of years. I take myself and my kids to places we were supposed to be with my husband. I sleep well at night knowing that I told people I love them. I look at myself in the mirror and still can't figure out what I did to deserve the great life I have. Because it is a great life. And while I will never get my husband back, I have not relied on what he left for us, but made a name for myself, and I tell her in the mirror, "you can do difficult things". And in the words of Maya Angelou, I do what I can, with what I have, where I am.

Jessica: How would you like people to describe you?

Celia: I've been called self-assured, self-sufficient, self-reliant, driven, that I have a positive attitude for life, amazing, inspirational, sweet, fierce, firecracker, the little engine that could, funny, on point, etc. But I have also been called direct, blunt, rude, harsh, tactless, careless, mean, and other things like it. In reality, I still have difficulty being assertive. I am working on it, but believe it or not I sugar coat a lot. And I mean, a lot. If I have to say something to someone and I have time to think about it, I rehearse what I am going to say and how to say it gently, but it still doesn't come out that way. If I don't have time to think about it, I can be very piercing. I don't mean to be this way. I don't know if it is a difference in culture, growing up in Mexico or what, because I don't think it's a translation problem, I got English down. But I have been told I'm very direct and this surprises me because I don't see myself this way.

As far as the positive stuff, I guess I can see that, but that's just a byproduct of who I am. I don't try to be self-reliant, I have to be. I don't try to be fierce, I have had to become so. I'm more like a chihuahua, they think they're fierce, but they're probably just noisy because they don't want to get stepped on. I don't do things to be inspirational, I just do what I think I should do at the moment. But really, I am just an example of the saying, "you don't know how strong you are until strong is your only option". People say they wouldn't be able to go through what I went through, but when you're there, you kind of have to, so you do. That's all. And if that's inspirational, then so be it.

Jessica: When in your life, so far, have you felt the most confident?

Celia: I think when I moved to Tucson, started training Krav Maga and going to college. I felt like I could own the world and accomplish everything. Little by little, but I was putting in motion everything that I am now reaping. And now I also feel confident after accomplishing all that. I feel I got everything I ever wanted, and now I just want someone to share it with.

Jessica: What is an ongoing challenge you face?

Celia: I think of challenge as something I need to overcome, so if that's the definition I'm using, I would say making sure my son is able to live a life as normal and fulfilling as possible. He was born with autism, and has come a long ways, but there are still a lot of social challenges for him, and for myself to get him the help he needs. He is extremely smart, witty, funny, but his sense of humor is something that needs to be taken with a grain of salt. And maybe a shot of tequila. We get along well and function together, but as he matures and learns, I have to keep re-learning how to communicate with him. He has learned a lot and has amazed me with things he has accomplished, but there are still many social situations that are difficult for him to engage in, and it is my job as his mother to find the resources to help him thrive. My greatest desire and my most constant prayer is that he will be a productive member of society, and find the person who will love him and accept him for who he is. For people who don't know him, he can be very harsh and off-putting, but he is actually an extremely caring and thoughtful person. I hope people are able to see past his autism quirks and really get to see how sweet he is.

Jessica: Are there any myths you would like to bust about growing up as a female?

Celia: I grew up being told that girls shouldn't flirt because then you were considered a slut. That if you hung out with guys, you were sleeping with them. That men and women couldn't be friends without developing feelings for each other. No. I don't know if that's the case with others, but I have several male friends that I absolutely want nothing more than friendship with. And flirting with a man who is single doesn't make you a slut! Yet I still have that engrained and it's very difficult for me to do that, unless I know he's already into me. But if I don't know, I don't assume. And I hang out with guys. To me it's just human interaction!

Jessica: What do you wish other women or young girls knew about themselves?

Celia: That they can create the life they want for themselves and should strive to do it. Even if it requires help, get the help you need so you can succeed! Being self-sufficient doesn't mean doing it all by yourself, it means getting the resources to help yourself succeed. And those resources can be other people. Just make sure you're grateful and give back. But you CAN do it. Even if takes you a while, you put your mind to it and do it.

Jessica: If you could talk to advertisers right now about advertising to women, what advice would you give them?

Celia: Get to the core of who we are and speak to our capabilities, not our external appearance. Women will get your product if it makes their life easier, or gets them closer to their goals. If a woman wants to dress to impress, don't tell her on the dress looks good on her, tell her she makes the dress look good. Empower her to love her body and take care of it, don't sell her something to cover it up. The movie What Women Want gets the right idea with their Nike commercial.

Creative Credits:

Photography by Jessica Korff Studios

Makeup by: Renee Lanz | Radiate with ReneeJ

Dress Draping: Dresses draped and created by: Jessica Korff